The transformation of the custom of 'bride stealing'

(Baonghean) -The Thai people's custom of "stealing brides" and the Mong people's custom of "pulling wives" have a humane and unique character, formed long ago and passed down to the present. Recently, due to social reality and the wrong perception of some people, this custom has been transformed, and has been called "stealing wives", "robbing wives", "stealing brides"...

Ten years ago, in the mountainous district of Quy Hop, there were several cases of a variation of the "bride stealing" custom among the Thai people that were spread by word of mouth and reported by the media. On the night of January 12, 2007, a group of young men from Chau Tien commune pulled their motorbikes to the edge of the forest to discuss robbing a 16-year-old girl from Phay village, Chau Tien commune, and taking her to Quang Huong village, Chau Quang commune.

The girl was captured by young men and forced onto a motorbike. Photo: Internet.

The incident failed due to the intervention of the girl's brother. A few days earlier, six young men from Chau Hong commune rode their motorbikes 15 km to the boarding house of the district's Ethnic Boarding High School to "escort" a female student in grade 11 named Lo Thi Th. back to the village to marry her friend named Duc. This time, school officials and some students chased after her and rescued Th. so she could continue going to school... After this incident, Duc's family was fined according to community regulations, and Duc himself was administratively fined 300,000 VND by the Chau Hong Commune People's Committee.

Previously, from 2004 to 2007, variations of the "bride stealing" custom such as the two cases mentioned above also occurred sporadically in some mountainous districts of Nghe An such as Quy Chau, Que Phong, Con Cuong, Tuong Duong... Most of those cases were not condemned much by the community or did not "reach the ears" of the mass media due to the mentality of "silently accepting" the fait accompli of the girl and her family, because the consequences were not too severe, or other reasons...

A custom in the traditional wedding of the Thai Quy Hop people.

In fact, the practice of "bride stealing" in the Thai community in Nghe An is not arbitrary but has clear regulations, especially in today's modern society where people have a clear awareness of the right to freedom of marriage and human rights. Research results on the custom of "bride stealing" show that this custom has been passed down from ancient times to the present and is always considered a humane feature and has the nature of building and connecting community strength.

Explaining this, Mr. Sam Van Hoa, 79 years old, residing in Yen village (Chau Quang commune, Quy Hop) said: The custom of "stealing brides" has always been recognized as a narrow door in the wide open gate of traditional marriage law. This "narrow door" has saved many deadlocked situations, avoiding tragic consequences due to the foolishness of couples who love each other but for some reason, are not allowed by both parents...

Through the cases of "wife kidnapping" from 2004 - 2007, the management agencies, authorities at all levels, organizations and prestigious people in the community have actively propagated and advised the children in the village. This involvement has brought about positive results, the evidence is that for the past 10 years, there has not been a single case of "wife kidnapping" in the community that has been considered wrong and must be condemned...

However, on February 4, 2017, a "wife-stealing" incident in broad daylight by motorbike was filmed and posted on social media. This video was said to have been filmed at the intersection of Chau Loc commune (Quy Hop district). After being posted on Facebook, the video and information about this incident were widely shared by many online newspapers and social media users, almost creating a "hot effect" in early 2017... Through following some comments from young people, including young Thai people, it is difficult to accept that they are still equating the "wife-stealing" action in this video with the customs of the Thai people.

The exploitation of customary law to "steal" and "steal wives" is increasingly condemned, because it is an act that violates the freedom of the body and the freedom of marriage of citizens, so it needs to be prevented promptly and handled according to the law of the State. Promoting propaganda and education also makes girls aware of their right to love freely, the right to choose marriage and protect their own happiness. The community of Thai ethnic villages in many places has concretized customary law in writing with the consent of everyone, in order to make the customary law of the village truly within the scope of the law of the State...

Sam Van Binh