Trang Ha: Because you still kiss the hand that just slapped you…

(Baonghean.vn) - Many people read the legal news in the newspaper and screamed when the father-in-law hacked his son-in-law to death. They never thought that they would go home and teach their son to become a self-respecting man, and teach their daughter to become a prudent woman...

Illustration photo.

Last week, the whole of Vietnam was shocked by the story of a Go Vap man who hacked his son-in-law to death. The legal story tells: Ton Thanh Viet - 34 years old, in which the last years of his life were immersed in violence and jealousy. Beating his wife, blocking his wife's way, cursing his wife, threatening to kill his father-in-law and his wife's family, fighting with his sister-in-law, assaulting his wife at his wife's house, many years of beating his wife causing injuries that people could see with the naked eye, not to mention the lingering mental wounds of his wife and children.

I don’t understand what the woman who pushed her husband to death, and her father to jail for murder, was living in violence for so many years in the name of what? Really, without women who can’t even define their own dignity, where would these family tragedies come from?

And I also do not understand the crowd defending the unfortunate wife, do they understand this: That tragedy would never have happened if for all these years, the 31-year-old wife had not continuously kissed the hand that had just slapped her. That woman was even willing to have sex with the man who had just tortured and beaten her. Where did the sexual inspiration come from?

Don’t tell me that women’s sexual inspiration comes from a marriage certificate stamped by the People’s Committee of a certain ward in Go Vap district! It’s completely meaningless, the crowds condemning the modern-day Thi Mau girls for “being pregnant without a husband” just because they want to be in control of their lives, to live a worthy and safe life that is happiest in their circumstances. And the crowds rush to defend “physical” marriages, and acknowledge that it is still a marriage!

The crowds just want the ward people's committees to issue as many marriage certificates as possible! We fear independent women. We fear women who refuse to acknowledge men as the pillars of the family and society. We fear women who are competent and have their own opinions.

Successful women often receive friendly questions about their single status and whether their children have a father or not? Although these questions are always surrounded by the beauty of friendliness, affection, care, connection, sympathy, intimacy...

Divorced women are always asked about their own condition and the condition of their children. Some men even ask rudely, "Have you not had any sexual needs in the past few years?" It means, "Now that I am here, do you want to use me for free?"

There are thirty-year-old girls who are still unmarried, and they will always receive New Year's greetings like this: So, when will the good news come? ("Good news" means wedding invitations), so what will happen this year? When will you take off? (The question is, you are just wild ducks, when will you fly away from home?)

Oh, how strange it is to sympathize with women of age who need love, husbands, and children. If girls don’t have all of these things, no love, no husband, no children, it doesn’t mean they are in a state of personality deficiency!

It cannot be denied that the whole society, including neighbors – classmates – relatives – acquaintances – colleagues surrounding a woman’s life, has a huge influence on the decisions in a woman’s life. If she is living in Vietnam!

There are people who have seen the young wife walking down the street with the signs of her husband’s beatings for many years, but have remained silent. They only spoke up when interviewed in the newspaper, as witnesses who saw the father-in-law carrying the body of his 34-year-old son-in-law to surrender to the police. They even had time to raise their cameras to take pictures of the tragedy, then provided the images to the press as a thrilling story. Why didn’t they take pictures of the tragedy when it first began – a few years ago, or take pictures of their irresponsible indifference when they saw their son-in-law running to cause trouble, cursing, and threatening to kill the neighbors?

Others, only read the legal news in the newspaper and scream when the father-in-law hacked his son-in-law to death. They never thought that they would go home and teach their son to be a self-respecting man, and their daughter to be a prudent woman.

Many people also think that if it were me, I would tear any guy who touches my daughter to pieces! Meaning, I don’t care about other guys’ daughters. No matter how chaotic this society is, it has nothing to do with “Dad”.

Who are the daughters of those “guys”? They are all strangers. Maybe they are your in-laws. You are not treating your daughter-in-law any better than anyone else. This Sunday, you called your married daughter to her parents’ house for a happy weekend meal, but sent her to the market. Aren’t daughters-in-law human? Why do daughters-in-law have to spend the weekend cooking to please others? Your daughter-in-law also wants to go to her parents’ house, just like the privilege you only give to your daughter!

Maybe that “guy” is your father-in-law. When your wife is “rude” and you do not hesitate to slap her in the mouth. And sometimes when you comment on forums, you still criticize men who do not know how to discipline their wives!

So the story of the case, for male and female readers, is a tragedy that exists in today's life: Violence is a process.

When we first met: He blamed her, why were you 10 minutes late to the coffee shop? He was very angry, he scolded. But if he was late, she worried maybe he got stuck in traffic or had an accident?

When newly married: The husband gets angry when his wife hasn't cooked dinner by 7pm. And if the wife comes home at 7pm, she will regret why her work is so busy that she can't do the housework?

When having an affair: The husband blames the wife, the wife blames herself.

And when domestic violence happens: Don't expose your back.

And, from that day on, the world began to have one more woman, who accepted to kiss the hand that had just slapped her!

Trang Ha