Short story: Glare

Illustration: Vu Thuy

- You said you love me, then marry me!

- Not now. Wait for me, okay?

- Wait? I've been waiting for you for two years. You know, we're not so young anymore. Because of you, I divorced my husband. What about you? You said your career is on the rise. Do you not want to divorce because it's sensitive for your career at this time, or because you don't really want to leave her?

Nam silently looked out the window of the coffee shop. As for me, two streams of tears fell down my cheeks.

- Well, I think we should end things from this moment.

After saying that, I left, leaving Nam with the bitter drink still slowly dripping from the filter into the cup.

My marriage was not smooth. Nam's was too. But at this point I began to suspect: The fact that Nam and her husband were not compatible, that she did not care about her husband, was never jealous, and let each other do their own thing, was it just Nam's way of talking to me? More than a month ago, she came to me just to say:

- I know about you two. I like to be straightforward, so I ask you and Mr. Nam to be clear about everything. If you want to be together, file for divorce with me first. That way it's both fair and legal.

While I was still confused about how to answer, the woman stood up, went to the cashier, paid for two cups of coffee and walked away. She looked slim but beautiful and elegant. Suddenly, I felt a surge of jealousy towards this woman.

Two years ago, through Nhu, a high school classmate, I met Nam. Our love came very quickly. After two years of being in love, I realized that this was the true love of my life. Nam is an intelligent person, knows how to take care of me and loves me passionately. We are so compatible in everything that sometimes I think Nam and I were born for each other. It's like two pieces of a puzzle fit together perfectly. When I'm with Nam, I feel secure, but on the other hand, I also realize that my husband and I are different in every way. As a newcomer to the path of literary creation, after giving birth to my first child, waiting for my child to be strong enough, I started my career with a few short stories published in famous newspapers and magazines. One of them won first prize in a fairly large competition. My husband is a construction worker. He is not interested in literature or art. He is even allergic to the fact that I spend a few hours every day typing on the computer.

- Those stories are useless, they don't make any money. The artists are useless too, they're all stupid and poor - he said.

- You may not like it, but don't despise people like that.

- That's true. Think about it, that Loan who used to live near our house was fired from her job because of writing and had to sell her house. Now she doesn't know where to live.

- Don't use her as an example. She's not a writer. The things she writes are negative, that's why she's in such a bad situation.

- It's all about writing and words.

- I don't understand anything...

Such arguments happened frequently because he did not understand the problem and did not care about other people's feelings. More seriously, many times he just threw my newly written manuscripts into the trash.

Nam is the opposite. He listens, shares, and loves my work. Although he is not in the profession, he is really interested in every story, even every sentence, every word I write.

- You know, since the day I met you, I started to like literature and asked myself why I rarely read a book before. Among the stories you wrote, the one that won the award is good but not my favorite. I like “After the Night Rain” because it is both romantic and realistic, both blunt and blunt, and mysterious and fantastic.

I loved listening to what Nam had to say about my writing. He was my most enthusiastic and knowledgeable reader, and a great source of motivation for me to continue with my career. When I realized the intellectual, personality, and cultural differences between my husband and him, I knew that I could no longer live with him. I filed for divorce. After many unsuccessful attempts at persuasion, he finally agreed.

But now, when Nam still hesitated to leave his wife, I felt really disappointed. For the first time, I asked myself: Does he love me as much as I thought he did? Then when I thought of that woman, I felt sad because of her beauty. Maybe she was too attractive for Nam to break up with.

Nam called and texted me many times but I didn't answer. Although I was in so much pain, I had to end this relationship.

And then I had some really sad and lonely days. I missed Nam. After many days of me refusing to answer his calls, he stopped calling. Honestly, I felt disappointed about this. On one hand, I still believed that his love for me was real, on the other hand, I doubted his reasons for delaying the divorce. On the one hand, I was sad because I had left him, on the other hand, I felt that I had been straightforward, clear and kind enough to him.

Until one day, I met Nhu while having a drink with some young writers. Nhu pulled me to a corner of the shop:

- Hey, I feel sorry for Nam. Have you met him to offer condolences?

- What's the matter? - I was startled.

- Don't you know? His wife just died of cancer. He's a secretive person, he hasn't shared anything with anyone for so long.

It took me a while to calm down. I remember one time when we were sitting together, he suddenly became absent-minded after a phone call from his wife. I asked him what was wrong but it took a long time for him to say in a sad voice:

- Nothing. Just family business.

After that time, Nam seemed busy and texted me less. It was very possible that was when he found out his wife was sick.

As if saying goodbye to me to leave. Some young writer friends were still sitting at the table over there, chatting about the awards. I silently looked out the window. It was at this corner of the table that he had sat, had heard me say goodbye, had silently looked out the window at the street. The streets outside were blinded by the sunlight…