"Four virtues" today
(Baonghean) - In the past, whenever we talked about women, we often heard: virtue - beauty - speech - conduct. These are the rules and etiquette that society set, society required women in the past to have. A woman is considered "standard" when she possesses all of the above "four virtues". So do the four virtues still exist today? If so, how is it different from the past?
Talking about the “four virtues”, many people think that women today no longer value them. They are outdated, feudal, and in conflict with modern values. People also criticize that women today do not know how to cook, do laundry by machine, rock their babies to sleep with a plate, feed their children with a “maid” and treat guests with restaurant dishes. Women consider beauty as a means. The need for skin whitening, nose lifts, and lip tattoos among women has pushed beauty salons into a trendy profession, drawing women into an endless “beauty quest”.
As for “speech”, there is no shortage of comments saying that women now speak no differently than men. What about “happiness”? “Hot girls”, “trial living”, clips of female students fighting, female monsters, even bandits or super-swindlers… are appearing more and more densely in the newspapers every day. But are all of the above comments correct? Have they reflected multi-faceted and objectively? If so, why aren’t we worried enough to ask the question: are virtue, beauty, speech, and virtue still there or are they gone today?
We have the right and the duty to respect, and even cherish, the precious spiritual values that our ancestors left us. But that does not mean that we impose everything on them in a forced manner. Society has changed, and women are certainly no exception. If we take an entire woman of the “three obediences and four virtues” of the past and put her in today’s world, how can we not feel out of place?It is hard to imagine the image of a woman with long hair, black teeth, a crow-beak scarf, chewing betel, speaking softly, walking and standing, working hard next to a group of… computers! So how can a woman be modern without losing the beautiful core values of the four virtues? This is certainly not an easy question for women, and certainly not just a responsibility for women!
Some people say that modern women are like walking on a tightrope, with family on one side and career on the other. That is why for many years now, the Vietnam Women's Union has launched a movement called "women who are good at public affairs and good at home". The word "cong" is no longer just about housework. The role of modern women in the family is to "keep the fire burning" for life. Many of them are good workers, have stable jobs, have their own careers... The word "cong" today contributes to freeing women from dependence.
The word “dung” has also changed a lot in the past, someone once said “there are no ugly women, only women who do not know how to beautify themselves”. Women’s beauty is a duty to themselves, their families and society. It is sad, it is meaningless if society lacks beautiful women. To be fair, women today have the conditions to beautify themselves much more than before, they have the right, even the responsibility to enjoy it. If from a healthy perspective, is it wrong to consider beauty as a means to help women feel confident? We are acknowledging and should not only acknowledge but also support modern beauty. Beauty also depends on the individual, region, circumstances, and time. Beauty does not necessarily have to be “dove eyes, willow eyebrows”, “wasp waist”…
Women have the right to choose for themselves a gentle and graceful beauty, or a proud or noble beauty, or a healthy, dynamic, even… “fiery” beauty. As long as it suits the personality, conditions, living environment and work of each person… beautiful.
As for the word “language”, is the saying: “Smart birds chirp freely, smart people speak softly and pleasantly” still appropriate in all situations? Women today take on many jobs, they can be journalists, lawyers, criminal police, business owners, and even politicians. Therefore, shyness, gentleness, and tenderness can become weaknesses. Therefore, in addition to gentleness, there should be more coherence in language, decisiveness in expression, completeness in information, and even humor in behavior. The most important thing is to determine who you are talking to, what you are talking about, and for what purpose you are talking in order to choose the appropriate “language” while still maintaining the sophistication of women.
Finally, the word "virtue" is always respected by people everywhere and in every era. In the end, virtue is also a measure of culture, courage, and life philosophy of people in general and women in particular. No society accepts, and no man wants, a woman who lives a loose life, does not take care of her family, does not love her husband and children, does not know how to sacrifice, and lacks loyalty. They wait and hope that in their lives they will meet women who know how to respect themselves, are altruistic, compassionate, and know how to live for everyone... However, that does not mean that women are forced to confine themselves to old rules. Women today know how to withstand pressure and are ready to face challenges. Women can completely socialize with friends and participate in social activities. Many women still "hang out" in dance clubs, martial arts clubs... but perhaps not because that will make them lose their virtue.
In short, “virtue, beauty, speech, and conduct” are the standard values that our ancestors have summarized and reserved for women. It has never been lost, it is forever respected. In modern society, for modern women, “virtue, beauty, speech, and conduct” still exist, it is still the measure of value beside each of us.
Nguyen Khac An
