"Bullying" culture

(Baonghean) -I have a friend who appears and disappears like a ghost, quite funny. In peaceful times, when you are doing well, you never expect to receive an appointment or a phone call from him. If you do not say anything, that is fine, but one fine day he calls to ask how you are, then whether you borrow money or ask for help, big or small.

Once or twice, everyone was happy to help. Three or four times, they just let it be, after all, they were friends. Five or six times, some people started to feel annoyed and tried to avoid him. This guy has now become a legend, a topic of ridicule every time friends meet. It's just a small story, but it made me think about the "trouble" culture that is becoming more and more common in society, not just my friend.

Talking about the culture of "trouble", I am not sure whether it is actually a disaster or a general trend of the whole society. Because, more or less, our relationships are difficult to separate from personal interests. However, when our requests for help become demands and troubles for others, it means we need to review the extent of our behavior. Are we overestimating ourselves and our relationships with others, leading to giving ourselves the right to demand this and that from them? Is it because people are narrow-minded and petty with us, or is it because we are too indifferent, carefree or even shameless? How can we determine the boundary so that our relationships with others are "give and take for mutual satisfaction"?

We Asians have always valued love and loyalty, taking them as principles and ethics for living, behaving, and treating each other. But before demanding that people live meaningfully (not to mention lovingly) towards you, think about whether you yourself have been meaningful (loving) towards them or not? If you do not know how to respect others and are willing to sacrifice personal interests, then please do not demand that people live for you or give you anything, even if it is just a small thing.

A Western philosopher once said, "Treat others the way you want to be treated", so if you want people to treat you for themselves, then treat them first. And if it is necessary to ask or demand something from others, please put yourself in their shoes and think about whether it will cause trouble or embarrassment for the person being asked, what is the relationship between us and them, what are the responsibilities and obligations to each other? If each of us is conscious of being self-reliant, avoiding making demands and bothering those around us a little, society will be civilized and the relationship between people will be clearer, purer, and much more gentle and pleasant.

Saying that does not mean completely denying the need to rely on and rely on each other in life, because no one lives without the help of those around them. "The river has bends, people have times", family, relatives, friends are for us to rely on and trust in ups and downs. But no matter how winding the river is, it will eventually flow to the sea, no matter how difficult a person is, he must know how to stand up and walk on his own two feet, and not cling to and depend on others forever, right? The problem of today's society is passive, lazy people who do not want to move on their own, always waiting for others to live and work for them. What can such people do for life, or are they just a burden to those around them, even though it is a sin to keep them, but it is a pity to leave them, how can we bear it!

Back to my friend, I haven't seen him for a long time, I wonder if he still follows this person around, calls that person to ask for help, begs whenever needed, but normally he's nowhere to be found? Sometimes I get angry, but thinking back, I feel more sorry, because people like that usually never think that compared to a small benefit, the respect and affection of everyone they exchange is much greater. And you, when you read this article, are you planning to pick up the phone to call a normal person you never remember, asking for help with sweet words without thinking that most likely, the person is talking to you with an unpleasant frown?

Hai Trieu (Email from Paris)