5 Tips for New Students from an International Student in the US

The article is a sincere sharing of Nguyen Sieu, a student of Vassar College, class of 2017, Head of Communications of VietAbroader organization.

Below is an excerpt from Nguyen Sieu's letter:

Dear American college freshmen, class of 2020!

Studying abroad is exciting and full of opportunities, but it is also a long journey, and the confusion in August is just the first step. The first year will certainly be bumpy, and to help you prepare yourself mentally for those shocks, I would like to share the following 5 pieces of advice:

1. Don't fall in love with anyone in the first 5 months

Because a part of Vietnamese youth always worship foreign beauty, dreaming of Western guys with "blond hair - blue eyes - six-pack bodies", when they first enter school, they will easily fall in love at first sight when they encounter dozens of such guys.

During the first few weeks, it is easy for children to “fall in love” with an American or an international friend simply because of the novelty, because their face and body are so different from the pure Vietnamese beauty they are used to.

Nguyen Sieu - senior student at Vassar College (USA).

My short advice to you is: Don't fall in love. The first 5 months are 5 months of awkwardness, getting to know each other, 5 months for first-year students to spread out and chat with all their classmates to get to know each other, to see who is the right person to be long-term friends with.

Therefore, this should be the time for you to make lots of friends instead of focusing on falling in love with someone. This stage is similar to when chicks just hatch from their eggs, they will go looking for their mother, their flock and their first warmth.

If you immediately follow your heart, by the second semester, you will feel lost when all your friends around you have groups, while you only have one relationship and don’t know if it will last a few more days. Then when you break up, cry alone.

2. Don't expect your roommate to become your best friend.

Movies tend to romanticize reality. Many freshmen come to college expecting their roommates to be their best friends. My condolences to you, but I think you should stop getting your hopes up, because most of the time they don’t.

Spending time hanging out or working in groups with friends like in Vietnam is one thing, but living together in the same room is a completely different story. Living together means seeing each other more; in fact, seeing each other when sleeping, waking up, studying, eating, brushing teeth, exercising.

When two individuals are exposed to each other so much, it is easy for one to see all the other's faults. If one snores too loudly, the other cannot sleep.

A night owl will disturb an early bird’s schedule. A messy person will annoy a neat freak. A cold-loving athlete will tussle with a Vietnamese student from the tropics over the heating knob.

College students in the US still whisper to each other: “Never live with your best friend, or you will lose the friendship.” Living together is complicated, and becoming soulmates with your roommate will require a lot of luck.

3. Don't be perfectionist about speaking "standard" English

Many Vietnamese students who go to American universities feel pressured about their communication skills. They are often afraid that they do not speak English like Americans, that they do not roll their tongues well enough, that they do not raise their voices high enough, or that they cannot change their sounds smoothly.

This is a legitimate concern, as communication is the key to relationships, and if both parties are unclear about what they mean, it can lead to unpleasant misunderstandings. However, you just need to make sure that the speaker and the listener can understand each other, and you don't need to be perfectionist to speak like Americans. Why?

Because you are not American. You are a Vietnamese student at an American university, not an American student. America is a country of diversity, of many ethnicities, and many Americans have many different “accents”, too.

Your “Vietnamese accent” will also contribute to that diverse picture, and many American friends have told me they find the “Vietnamese accent” very cute.

Nguyen Sieu joined a dance class at school.

4. Watch a lot of American TV series

American college students love to talk about TV series: from discussing who died yesterday, who married who, to using classic characters and scenes to make comparisons and metaphors for other things. In a conversation, if someone alludes to a detail from a movie and everyone bursts out laughing except you, you will feel out of place.

Movies are part of culture, and culture is the common ground for American students to talk openly with each other. Watching movies is also a way for Vietnamese students to learn about other countries' culture and understand the people here.

5. Be careful when "making love"

In American universities, there is a culture called “hookup culture,” which is basically “making love” without any strings attached, based on needs and not necessarily feelings. You may be shocked because in Vietnam, this is considered sacred and private, but in American universities, you will be open and easy-going.

This is part of youth culture, because many Americans believe that the twenties are for experiencing life, and experiencing means "trying" a lot, not tying yourself to anyone or anything, and being completely free to explore.

So don’t be surprised if you meet and fall in love with a guy one day, then two days later you’re strangers. This culture is not negative, but it’s based on each individual’s assessment and suitability. Because it’s quite different from Vietnam, you need to prepare in advance to be careful, and choose the lifestyle that you feel most comfortable and safe with.

The key is, you must always remember, you are Vietnamese in America, so you must find a way to integrate with American and international students, how to absorb the good things of American culture but avoid the bad things, and at the same time always keep your Vietnamese roots.

According to Vietnamnet