Unfortunate lives of those who suffer from violence

(Baonghean.vn) - Every few weeks, people in the fishing village near Cua Tien bridge hear the sounds of beating, screaming, and begging coming from the hut at the end of the beach. They get used to it, the villagers come to stop it, the government has also sent people down but things just keep happening.

Ms. L and her son in a dilapidated house in Cua Tien fishing village.

Crossing the muddy, rubbish-strewn road, following the directions of the fishing village people, we found a wooden house built precariously on bamboo poles. It was already afternoon but L and her mother had just started to scrape up some cold rice and fish for lunch while the second child was sleeping curled up in a corner of the house.

Ms. L smiled sadly: "Because I was sick for the past few days, I stayed home all day and didn't go out to work to earn money, so my eldest child had to go to the market to sell for her. I don't know whether to be happy or sad that when I got sick, my husband finally put down his drink and went out to find work."

Born in the river region, Ms. L was once a beautiful, good-natured girl who was proposed to by many young men. Among those young men, Ms. L fell in love with Mr. S, a Quang Binh native who was poor but gentle, quiet and hard-working. Who would have thought that after a while of getting married, he would change his character, drinking all day and then, when "inspired", would use his wife and children as "punching bags" to practice his boxing and kicking.

Ms. L's house is dilapidated and has nothing of value.

Having lived together for more than 15 years, Mr. S has only known alcohol, offering hundreds of dollars to the drunkard every day. All the work of raising, educating the children, and earning money depends on a few coins from selling shrimp and fish of Ms. L. Everything is done by hand, but every time the alcohol comes, Ms. L and her children have to endure beatings from her abusive husband. Each time like that, she can only use her body to shield the children, begging her husband to be gentle.

There were times when she saw her husband beat their children so brutally that she had to scream, beg, and ask the neighbors to come and help. The children were still young, but now the eldest daughter was 14 years old, but the beatings from Mr. S were still as regular as daily meals. As a result, she often had bruises on her body, and sometimes she even had to get stitches. Neighbors came to advise her, the authorities intervened, but after a few days, Mr. S returned to his old ways.

Ms. C was hospitalized with money borrowed from relatives without any encouragement or money from her husband.

There are also many women in the same situation as Ms. L. A female patient named C, currently being treated at the Urology Department - Nghe An General Hospital, is also a victim of domestic violence. Living in Tan Ky, Ms. C has been in pain for several years now, but it was only recently that the pain became unbearable that she had to be hospitalized. Ms. C said that partly because the family did not have money for treatment, and partly because her husband did not let her go for fear of spending money. She has been hospitalized for nearly a month now, but she still clearly remembers the words: "Just stay home and die, why go to the hospital, it's a waste of money" or the statement that she would not spend a penny, leaving the mother and children to fend for themselves, from the mouth of her husband, who had been her mother for more than 30 years.

Talking about her married life, the farmer woman said that her husband K was a construction worker, stubborn and hot-tempered. Since the day they got married, she had never heard a pleasant word from her husband. Tired, he scolded her and the children, and when things went wrong, he took out all his anger on his wife and children. Every now and then, after a few drinks, Mr. K would smash things in the house or chase his wife and children around the village. As a result, poverty became more and more poverty, because whatever money he had was spent on buying and repairing things in the house and then it was all gone.

When asked if she had ever reported the abuse to the commune, Ms. C looked at us with surprise. Ms. C smiled and said, “It’s just my fate to marry a husband with a fickle temperament, what can I do? When he’s tired, he scolds, when he’s mad, he beats, when he beats, my child and I have legs to run away, so it doesn’t hurt too much. Also, in the countryside, we don’t want to make a fuss about family matters…”

Statistics in the past 5 years show that the number of recorded domestic violence cases in Vietnam is 20,000 cases/year with the level of violence becoming increasingly serious. In 2014, every 2-3 days, 1 person was killed in relation to domestic violence, most of whom were women and children. In 2015 alone, 31 women and 7 children were killed by relatives. According to incomplete statistics, in the first 6 months of 2016, 20 women and children died due to domestic violence.

Certainly, the above number is just a small part of the "iceberg" when there are many cases that do not dare to speak up due to fear, shame, or even do not know that what they are suffering is a form of violence like the case of Ms. C. Therefore, it is very necessary to have the attention, propaganda, and assistance of the authorities to help the fates and cases that have been and are living in the "tornado" of violence.

Chu Thanh - Thanh Cuong