'Illness' is grand in filial piety and joy

(Baonghean) - Filial piety and joy are always important things in life, always receiving attention from policy makers as well as public opinion...

The reason why we are interested in talking about happiness and sadness is because since 1998, the Politburo has issued Directive 27 on “Implementing a civilized lifestyle in weddings, funerals and festivals”. The Department of Culture and a number of provinces and cities have also concretized this policy, flexibly applying it to each locality. Recently, Nghe An province has issued a decision on weddings, funerals and festivals.

There would be nothing to talk about if the funeral and wedding were just a must-do, a private matter of each family in the spirit of proper etiquette, customs and practices, without affecting others. However, the reality of what has been happening recently, as reflected by the press and public opinion, is the “grand weddings”, “billion-dollar weddings”, even “multi-billion” weddings, the bride being picked up in “super cars”, with many famous singers in the showbiz joining in the fun; the bride and groom wearing gold all over their hands, bending their necks… makes public opinion wonder about the “grandiose disease” that rich people today often suffer from.

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There is also an opinion that: “It’s their money, what they want to do is their business”. It’s their money, that’s true. But the important thing is how people use money to show off, to be arrogant, to organize parties for the whole village, to sing and dance all night long, to let their children wear gold around their necks, to publicly display wedding gifts worth tens of billions of dong for the press to report… that is what needs to be discussed.

I wonder if that kind of wedding will increase their children’s happiness a thousand, ten thousand times more than others! Will it help the couple understand the basic values ​​of happiness, love and sincerity, and sharing in life with relatives and friends…

Weddings are happy events. Even if they are big, they are still a happy event. If the neighbors are a little upset, they can easily let it go. A grand funeral is what is worth talking about.

Regardless of whether one is noble or humble, in the end, all return to dust. “A dead person’s duty is his/her duty to the end”, all descendants want to hold a meaningful funeral, praying for the deceased’s soul to be liberated soon. Therefore, spiritual rituals are always emphasized, and every homeowner wants to perform them in the most thoughtful and respectful way.

It’s just that “wealth begets courtesy”, nowadays, many well-off families have organized funerals that are larger than normal. Perhaps in their minds, the larger the funeral, the more they can show their filial piety to their deceased grandparents and parents. However, public opinion has a different view, saying that there are funerals that are organized “for the living” more than “for the dead”!

The situation of eating and drinking at funerals, then waiting for a good day, waiting for children from far away to return, many families held funerals for 5-7 days, even 10 days, then invited many monks to chant sutras, make offerings with many complicated rituals, loud drums and trumpets, causing much trouble for neighbors.

Funerals are a family affair, but now, in many places, things have changed. People have turned their own funerals into their neighbors' funerals, with the octave band using loudspeakers to amplify the sound, and monks chanting through microphones, as if if they didn't, gods and Buddhas wouldn't hear the prayers and wouldn't understand the heart of the bereaved! Some places even hire people to cry, and the crying has to be done loudly, lest they be criticized as "a funeral without tears"...

I don't know if the deceased's soul can rest in peace at such funerals, but even if the funeral is held with wailing and sobbing or with jubilant singing and dancing (like some places in the South that invite bands to perform) to show the homeowner's filial piety and grief, the neighbors are the ones who suffer the most.

Human life, even if it is a hundred years old, will eventually pass away. If we do not do good things for each other when we live, then when we die, no matter how much we cry, how much we mourn, how much we mourn, it will be too late. Once a person lies down, it is over, it is the end of everything, the end of all love, anger and resentment. At that time, all kindness and courtesy will return to the earth, will turn into dust and nothingness.

Weddings and funerals, the "ghosts criticizing the wedding" probably happen in every generation. However, to civilize the happy and sad events, the victims need to have a new perspective, new behavior and new actions.

Hue Anh