Accept the loss

A man lost everything after a brutal business war. He invested billions of dong - all his assets in that war. He fell into a serious crisis. Everywhere he looked, he saw loss, defeat, and failure. From a patient, steadfast, and ambitious person, he became irritable, skeptical of life, and indifferent to the future. Alcohol became an inseparable part of him, and his lifestyle became dissolute and dissolute. Despite many people's advice, he still sank into failure and loss, trying to justify the decline of his life in a blinding drunkenness. His wife and children went from being frightened, sad, encouraging him to overcome failure, to being depressed and desperate because they could not revive their husband and father. A family that had been so happy was now like hell.

A woman failed in love and marriage. She devoted her youth to the only man, fell in love and got married, the family grew from 2 to 4, the economy was stable, the husband loved her, the children were obedient. "Getting married like A. is so great!" - so many people admired her. But life was full of things that did not go as planned. One day, a strange young girl sent her a video clip. The third person turned around and challenged the first wife, how perverse is life! The spiritual world built by so much joy, pride, and honor now collapsed. The husband confessed to having an affair for nearly 2 years. She closed the door to her room and lay there, dazed, for 3 days, almost on a hunger strike, her tears dried up. The children were panicked, absent-minded, coming and going like shadows. The happy family fell apart, mother and children rented a house together. She had a family on her mother’s side, a stable job, and many friends, but more than 3 years later, she still could not escape the trauma of her previous marriage. She always wondered what she had done wrong, what she had done wrong to others to cause such a situation. It had been a long time since she had a genuine smile…

An 18-year-old young man, labeled as a "good kid" who studied well, suddenly failed the university entrance exam. The shock of his first life was something that not only he, but also his family could not accept. He filed for a re-examination, only improved his score by 0.5 points, but still failed. From a bright boy like the sun, he now became gloomy, depressed, unable to muster up any enthusiasm. He closed his room all day, turned on rock music loudly, played online shooting games loudly - things he had always refused. He was afraid to go out, afraid to face the words and eyes of his relatives, afraid to meet friends - those who may have been worse at school but had surprisingly good test results. This situation lasted for several months.

So, around us, and sometimes even within us, there are many stories of sadness, loss, failure, and inferiority. After all, life is long, and no one is always satisfied. No matter how carefully we calculate and plan, we cannot absolutely guarantee that everything will go smoothly and successfully.

Buddhism teaches about the “Eight Worldly Concerns”, divided into four pairs: the desire for gain - the fear of loss; the desire for pleasure - the fear of suffering; the desire for fame - the fear of being disgraced and hated; the desire for praise - the fear of being punished. The eight concerns govern all human activities, expressed in two attitudes of desire and fear. They go together, cannot be separated, no one is completely only desire, nor is anyone absolutely only fear. People are always both this and that; but the key is that the mind keeps the balance tilted towards which category, life will be positioned in that direction. People who always think about good things, accept and are ready to overcome difficulties will have a positive life; while people who fall into constant fear, live in the past, always think about suffering, loss, are always negative and confused, and life will be messy.

Usually, the sufferings in our lives are all self-inflicted. Losing money, breaking up a marriage, failing a university entrance exam… are sufferings, but that suffering is still external suffering, and the real suffering is the torment in our minds when we always seek to explain the reasons for failure, get stuck in self-questioning, spin around in delusions, and die in deceptive illusions.

We must understand that the past is behind us, the future does not belong to us, so there is only the present - even if it is messy, incomplete, unstable, and unsatisfactory, it is still something we must accept, face, and overcome. We suffer because we have lost the ability to accept. If we know how to accept, everything will gradually become clearer, as if there is a magic that lifts the fog, showing the mind the bright path to guide us.