Hari Won: 'I suffered a lot of pain when breaking up with Tien Dat'

In 2015, when she left her boyfriend, Hari had to endure loneliness and face public criticism.

Breaking up with a relationship of nearly nine years, breaking up with the man who had been with me all my youth, public opinion condemned and regretted, but they probably forgot that I and he, the people involved, were the ones who felt the most pain. I am also a person with a heart, I am just an ordinary girl, the pain from a failed love also made me tormented and in pain. Making the decision to end a relationship of nearly a decade is not easy for anyone. But after so much effort and trying, finally the fate has ended, the debt is gone. For reasons that we both agree on, after many times of thinking, pondering and worrying, we came to the decision to break up.

The time we broke up was probably the time I suffered enough damage to last my entire life, especially since I was a public figure. When the news of our breakup was announced, I personally received a lot of criticism from the public. Many people asked me, if I knew we wouldn't be together until the end, why did I still try so hard for so many years? Why didn't I try a little harder to prolong this relationship? Or was it because I was a woman who was greedy for fame, only using my lover to let people know about me, and then when I had a little fame, I was willing to abandon that relationship to go to someone richer and more famous?

I can only be silent, knowing it myself. I have devoted all my efforts to this love, being able to go together for so many years is because we have tried together to overcome all difficulties, it is just a pity that things can only end here. I have tried to accept his carelessness, a very manly, very egoistic carelessness. He is not a bad person, he has never intentionally hurt the people around him, but his unintentional carelessness has made me gradually slow down, until I no longer feel happy walking with him.

Hari Won and Tien Dat when they were still together. Hari Won said she did not delete the photos taken with Tien Dat because she respected the past and her love for the rapper.

Sometimes you have to learn to let go even when you don’t want to, simply because you know you can’t be together, so stop before you lose the last respect you have for each other. Nearly nine years? It’s long, but not too late. The beautiful time we had, for us, was more than enough.

At that time, I felt that all my explanations were meaningless. Mr. Dat said that he would stand up and explain everything to me, but I stopped him. Perhaps what people wanted was not the truth. What people wanted was not our reasonable explanation, but an explanation that satisfied their own reasoning. So what good would it do me to say anything? The truth is still the truth, whether others choose to believe it or not.

I remember an interview where Mr. Dat said: "I will always be by your side, even though our love is over, but our friendship will always remain. I am your relative.

I was so touched by his words that I cried. Even in the last moments when we were no longer lovers, he was still kind and loved and cherished me so much. I was such a lucky girl to be able to spend so many years of my life with him.

We went together those years, that love, was real.

We of that broken past, I no longer want to mention it. The public out there has talked about it too much, bringing it up again will only make those involved like you and me feel unnecessarily heavy. I just want to say: Thank you in this life for having you, loving me so much. Thank you, for walking with me on a long journey full of memories in this life.

We were really happy.

How do you feel after the breakup?

Empty.

Yes, that is the feeling of emptiness.

It's like you've lost a loved one. After all these years of loving him, I've long considered him and his family my second family.

Currently, many people still rummage through my old statuses, old photos and make harsh comments, tag friends and tease each other. But I don't care about that. I never delete those photos, because that period of time existed. The past is what made me who I am today, I have no reason to deny it. The love between me and Dat is very precious, there is no reason for me to deny it. I no longer care what people say. No one has lived my life to understand what I have gone through, so if they sympathize, I am extremely grateful, but if they despise me, I can do nothing but learn to ignore it all.

It sounds simple, but at that time, I had many sleepless nights. I told myself not to worry about it, but because I couldn’t sleep, I went online to see what people thought of me.

They talk about me a lot. A lot.

My eyes scanned the screen, and I was silent.

After we broke up, it seemed like everyone hated me, stopped supporting and loving me like before.

I had to fight my own pain and face the public gaze. Love is between two people, yet we have to suffer too much because of the words of outsiders.

Those days, I would sit quietly in my room, playing any random music without any rules, as long as it made a sound. Then, I would make myself a soft drink or tea to drink, it didn’t matter what I was drinking, but I still did it, because it made me feel like I was doing fine. Listening to music and drinking tea, how poetic? Life is so leisurely, what’s there to suffer?

Yet sometimes, when I raise my hand to my eyes, I still feel wet. Tears flow out unconsciously. Perhaps, I am not as strong as I think I am.

That is the emptiness to the extreme.

We broke up, but sometimes his mother still called me. She asked if I was okay, and if I could get over it. After each phone call like that, I cried even more. She said she loved both of us, but because our fate was over, she couldn't do anything more. She gently but kindly told me that no matter what, I was still her adopted daughter, if I had any difficulties or sadness, just come to her. His mother was a really, really good person. She always treated me with a kinship, took care of me like her own child, and this was also what hurt me the most when we broke up. Not only my mother, but his whole family were all such good people, making me silently thank life for giving me the opportunity to meet them.

I thought I was mentally prepared, but the time after the breakup was still a terrible time. We were now like train tracks, parallel to each other, placed next to each other, but the only difference was that each of us now had our own worries, our own lives, no longer looking in the same direction.

But in the end, we will all become a part of each other's memories. I will collect all the memories we have and put them in a Pandora's box of memories.

In it, there will definitely be no sadness, nor any harsh words from the public. In it, there will definitely only be beautiful times, of me and him, of our nine-year love that we will never regret.

According to VNE