Wedding season ramblings

(Baonghean) - In human life, there are important milestones that everyone must go through: "buying a buffalo, asking for a wife, building a house". It is thought that "buying a buffalo" and "building a house" depend entirely on the economy of each family, meaning that whoever has a lot of money can buy a beautiful buffalo and build a big house, but the same goes for "asking for a wife"... When the wedding season comes, being invited to a wedding party, witnessing the wedding day of a couple, remembering old weddings...

Today's wedding

It is undeniable that the wedding day is the most sacred and important day of every person. On that day, not only is the whole family happy, but the whole clan is also happy because the son has grown up and become a son-in-law of someone else's family, the daughter has grown up to be able to take on the role of a daughter-in-law to take care of the important matter. Therefore, it is natural for parents to worry about how to organize a happy day for their two children, who the guests are, whether to book a restaurant or a hotel, whether to hold the ceremony at the village Cultural House or in the countryside...

Mr. Le Xuan Tam in Nam Xuan, Nam Dan - who just organized the wedding for his eldest son, who is also his only son, said: Before organizing the wedding for his son, he and his wife also considered a lot, if they invited all the friends near and far, in the village, in the neighborhood, it would be approximately more than 100 tables. Living in the countryside "land has rules, village has customs", people invite you to their children's weddings, when it comes to your child's wedding, if you don't have an invitation, it will be inconvenient. Then he discussed with his wife: We are a cultural officer, all day long propagating for people to marry according to the new, compact, economical lifestyle, why should we invite everyone when it comes to our child's wedding, people will look at it and gossip, then who will we propagandize for? At first, she was not in agreement, but finally the couple came to an agreement to keep it simple, mainly inviting relatives in the clan and those who are really close.

After the wedding, someone met him and asked why the first son's wedding was so small, he just smiled... Although the State promoted weddings according to the new lifestyle, stipulating that each family would only have 30-50 trays, how many people did it? Not far away, right in his hometown Nam Xuan, determining that a wedding is a happy event of a lifetime, so people organized it very big: small families had 100 trays, large families had 150-200 trays. Depending on the circumstances and relationships of each family, people invited guests. Many families organized a big party in the city, when they returned to their hometown, it was called a party but they also prepared hundreds of trays.

Weddings today are lavish and expensive.

Mr. Le Quyet Thang, a cultural officer of Hung Dao commune, Hung Nguyen, who just organized a wedding for his first daughter, said: Because his daughter went to work abroad and then got married there, at home he and his wife only organized parties, meetings, and announced the good news to neighbors, neighbors and both sides. Because economic conditions are increasingly prosperous, most families organize very large invitations, almost every wedding invites the whole village, children's friends, father's friends, mother's friends... But today's weddings are really big but still feel lacking in affection because everything is hired: from trays, tables, bowls and chopsticks, cooking, setting up the tent, bride and groom's clothes... relatives and neighbors who want to help with the wedding have nothing to help. Unlike the old days...

In the city, at this time, hotels and restaurants are competing to offer promotional services for weddings. For example, Huu Nghi Hotel will reduce 1.5 million VND for weddings with 200 guests or more; reduce 2.5 million VND for weddings with 300 guests or more; reduce 3.5 million VND for weddings with 400 guests or more...

Mr. Vo An Huy - Deputy Director of Saigon - Kim Lien Hotel said: In the countryside, weddings are often hired to cook at home, while in the city, most families book them at hotels. Grasping that taste, in recent years, during the wedding season, in addition to opening promotions, hotel staff also take on the role of MC, script writer, orchestra, decorator... according to the request of each family. On the wedding day, families just need to arrive on time, and the hotel will take care of everything, making it less difficult for both families. However, it cannot be denied that today's weddings are more beautiful and grand, but they are not as warm and affectionate as the weddings of the past...

Remember the old wedding

Mr. Le Quyet Thang said: In the past, the custom of his hometown (Hamlet 3 Hung Dao) was to pick up the bride at night, so that if the bride cried on the wedding day, she would not be embarrassed in front of neighbors and friends. That day, the wedding procession took place from 7:30 pm, followed by a sweet party with candy, green tea, cigarettes, betel and areca nuts... in the groom's yard until about 9:00 pm. At that time, the role of the youth union was very important, regardless of the wedding, the youth union was in charge of organizing: from mobilizing and borrowing tables and chairs, covering the wedding tent, receiving guests, decorating the wedding bed... The family took care of cooking and shopping, with clear division of labor: the women made betel leaves, the sisters and mothers went to the market, the grandfathers directed to see what was left unfinished... and the young men took care of slaughtering the pig from the previous afternoon to make it into ham, into meatballs... each person had a hand, the whole neighborhood was as happy as Tet.

An old wedding. Photo: Internet

As for Mrs. Nguyen Thi Sam (65 years old) in Nam Thanh, Nam Dan, she said: Weddings in the past were really poor compared to now, but they were very happy and emotional. Mrs. Sam got married in 1977, when peace had just been restored. She herself was a youth volunteer, then went to study at Hanoi University of Foreign Languages. Because she was both married and studying, the wedding was held in the summer, in her husband's hometown Nam Nghia (Nam Dan). Both families were poor, so almost everything was helped by neighbors, brothers, and youth unions. Even her wedding clothes were bought by the youth unions. The wedding tent was made of colorful curtains mobilized by friends from other families, tables and chairs were borrowed... even the wedding photo was not there... Yet the two of them still lived happily, healthily, and happily together.

Comparing old weddings and modern weddings is a lame comparison, because the country has been innovating for decades, is on the path of integration and development, every family is developing the economy, everyone is competing to study and succeed... then there is no reason why old procedures and old customs cannot change. However, no matter how they change, do not forget: we are descendants of Vietnamese people, let's preserve the Vietnamese cultural identity. We know that the wedding day is a great day of joy, but how to make it joyful, healthy, safe and economical is worth discussing. That is also the concern of cultural officials in promoting weddings according to the new lifestyle. Because the wedding is a private matter of the family, each family has its own relationships, different job characteristics... to reach a consensus is a problem.

Another wedding season has come, I think, before the wedding day, families should consider and calculate how to avoid gossip after the wedding day because the most important thing about the wedding is "the bride and groom live happily together until their hair turns white".

Thanh Hien