9 things Japanese people avoid saying to children are common phrases of Vietnamese parents

Parents shouting: 'You're good for nothing' will make children lose confidence, withdraw and not dare to challenge themselves.

1. No, I can't do this.

When I approached the rice cooker, trying to scoop some rice, my father quickly ran over and chased me away, saying, "No, you can't do this yet." That statement made my desire to work, to try new things, to help my parents... all disappear.

Instead of doing that, take your child's hand and show him how to do it. This way, he will experience it and feel like he can do it without getting into danger. At the same time, while instructing your child, you can also explain to him why he needs to be careful.

2. I'm not good at anything.

When children break cups or spill water... many parents often yell: "You're useless" or "You spilled it again."

If a child fails because his hands are weak or his skills are not yet proficient, then failure is an opportunity for him to practice more. If he makes a mistake because he is not careful, then failure shows that his thinking is not mature enough. In any case, the saying: "You are not good at anything" will close the door to the child's future, making him lose confidence, withdraw, and not dare to challenge.

3. Hurry up, hurry up

"Hurry up, it's time for mom to go to work", "Hurry up, it's time to go to bed"... are phrases that many people often use to urge children to do something. The problem is not that children are slow, but that their thinking speed and the objects of their thoughts are different from adults.

Telling your child to "hurry up, hurry up" will only make him panic and not know what to do. Instead, ask questions that suggest the next steps. For example:

- What are you getting ready for now? If it's bedtime, why aren't you in bed yet?

- Now that you're dressed, go put on your shoes. Mom is ready and let's go to school.

4. Mom/Dad is busy, please wait a bit.

When a child wants to talk but their parents respond with something like, "Mom/Dad is busy, wait a minute" or ignore them, there is nothing more hurtful to a child.

If you are really busy, tell your child: "I am doing something right now, wait a minute, I will talk to you." It is also a "delay" sentence, but this way of speaking will not hurt the child. However, try to arrange your work to listen to what your child has to say right away because if you wait until later, your child may not want to share anymore.

5. It's your father's fault/It's your mother's fault

When the whole family forgets their child's shoes in the car or somewhere, many people have the habit of saying: "It's because your mom/dad forgot." Thus, even if it's not intentional, adults teach children the habit of blaming others. And next time, whenever something goes wrong, the child will immediately say: "It's because of mom/dad." The important thing is to teach children the habit of taking responsibility for their actions and knowing how to manage their belongings from a young age.

6. You have to be good and play happily with your friends.

This is too much for children. Even for adults, getting along with everyone is very difficult, let alone children. And especially when children are in the stage of learning how to establish relationships, if children are not allowed to fight or compete with friends, in the future, they will not know how to behave when they have conflicts with friends.

7. Just today, just this once

When going to the supermarket, children ask their parents to buy clothes or something, parents click their tongues and buy it and then say: "Just for today, just this once". Teaching children to be restrained is important, but once parents let their children break the rules once, they will know how to break the rules a second time. Therefore, never tell your children: "Just for today".

8. Talk too much, ask too much

Children often talk and ask questions, sometimes asking the same question over and over again. Many people can't stand it and scold their children: "You ask too many questions, I just answered them." Even children don't know why they want to ask so many questions, but their mother's grumpy attitude will make them afraid to speak their minds for fear of being scolded by their mother.

9. Good children, good students, parents love them

If a parent's love for their child is conditional, the child will misunderstand that achievements can be exchanged for toys, clothes, and love from their parent. A child who hugs his/her parent's leg tightly even when scolded or beaten until crying is because he/she loves his/her parent unconditionally. Therefore, even in words, parents should never use their love as a condition for exchange. Parents' love is not the destination for children to reach, it must be a stepping stone and a support for them to reach success.

According to Family and Society