'Ghost' of the past breaks love

Why does my girlfriend let the ghosts of the past affect our present love?

A year ago, I met her online. I am 28 years old and she is 4 years younger. The first time we met, we went to the movies, then went out for dessert and coffee. I was surprised at myself when I was able to talk naturally and intimately with her on the first date, because I am very picky about friends. After getting to know her for a while, I proposed to her, even though I knew she would study abroad and we would have a long-distance relationship. At that time, I simply thought that I really liked her and didn't want to lose her because of my hesitation. Moreover, I just thought that if we had each other in our hearts, any distance could be filled. She was very hesitant because she said that long-distance relationships are very painful, but after I convinced her, she agreed. That's how our story began.

Before we got together, we both went through a relationship. My ex was my teacher, and we still have a very good relationship. I once said that I could give up any relationship but not that person. I considered that person as a family member, and family members cannot abandon each other. I am trying to understand and control my jealousy. My ex was my best friend, he understood me very well, I considered him as my soul mate, but for many reasons we broke up, but we still tried to maintain our friendship.

About 6 months ago, I received a call from my ex, she wanted to introduce me to a company to work with, it was a company with very good benefits, competitive salary, and the possibility of promotion if you work with heart and vision. Especially, that company created conditions for employees to go to the parent company in the US for 3 months of training. At that time, I was disappointed with the way the old company operated, and simply wanted to have more conditions to go to the US to visit my girlfriend, to erase the distance between us, so I accepted. From then on, the storm between me and my lover began.

At the new company, everything is good, colleagues, work is very professional, the initial work makes me very satisfied. Although working in different departments, my ex and I still meet occasionally, on union and company outings, we also have the opportunity to go together. The more I meet and interact with my ex, the more I understand that the love between us is over. I no longer feel moved, no longer have the same loving feelings as before, to me now my ex is just a normal friend, a colleague in the company. I think maybe he treats me the same way.

During a union outing, my girlfriend and I called each other to check in. She asked me if I was with my ex. I said no, partly because I didn't want to cause more trouble, and partly because I had absolutely no intention of going with my ex. Furthermore, I no longer had feelings for her, so I didn't want to worry too much about it. Then my company went on a boat tour. By chance, my ex and I sat together, and there were two other people on the boat. I thought it was normal because we were in a group, and also because I didn't want to argue about trivial matters. Long-distance relationships were tiring enough, so I didn't tell my girlfriend.

A few days ago, you accidentally found out the truth, thinking that I had lied to you, saying that you lost trust in me. You asked me if I would still see or go out with my ex, I answered, "Maybe." How could I say I wouldn't see him when we were colleagues in the same company? Or did you want me to lie? I know that lying is wrong, hiding things from you is wrong, but it's true that I love you, it's also true that I don't have any feelings for that person, isn't that enough that you still insist on breaking up?

I am really stuck. From the beginning until now, I have only loved you, never thought or had any thoughts about anyone else. We have known each other for a very short time, and have been in a long-distance relationship for 11 months, but my feelings for you have not changed, I even love you more than before. I know you were lonely there, and suffered a lot, isn't that enough to prove my love?

Why do you let the ghosts of the past affect our current love? Sometimes I wish you were here, so when we go out with the union I will sign up to go with you, when we go out with the company I will also spend time with you. I can't open my mouth to tell you that, knowing more than anyone that you are the one who wants to return to Vietnam the most. Now you still want to break up, insisting that everything is over, that your trust in me is gone, that if we get back together we will still argue about this. What should I do to let you know about this feeling? What should I do to keep you?

According to VNE