Traveling with Dad

1. My friend's childhood was without a father. His parents were in a difficult situation: His father joined the army and lost contact with his ex-lover whom he had promised to marry. Decades later, he was able to return to his hometown, where she was a single mother of two children, abandoned by her husband who was addicted to alcohol and sex. At this time, his father already had his own family, and his mother had given birth to his two sisters.

Your second sister died young, after a bout of malignant fever when she was just 4 years old. Your father, for unknown reasons, stayed in the countryside, carrying baskets and trays with the woman who had sworn eternal love. Leaving your mother waiting alone with an incomprehensible silence. You grew up without a father's love, and the poverty of both mother and daughter. At that time, women were abandoned, and being a single mother was a great humiliation and misfortune. Your mother, not knowing whether it was because of the indifference of her lover, or because of the harshness of life, became a grumpy, cruel woman. Whenever she encountered difficulties or misfortune, harsh words for life, for the departed, followed by words of self-pity. The unlucky daughter - my friend - was the trash can for the mother to pour all her frustrations and compassion into.

My friend grew up in tears. And luckily became a strong woman. I say luckily, because she said many times she thought about dying, running away from home… Many girls in her situation chose the same path.

You just celebrated Father’s Day – the third Sunday of June – by taking a trip to Da Lat with your father. The man of your mother’s past, the day he met his stepchildren, his miserable common children, had left his wife – left the love that he traded for his wife, children, and his integrity. When they met again, their love could not be rekindled. “But no matter what, he is still my father” – you said. They have met each other for more than 10 years, but this is the first time you have taken a trip to Da Lat with your father, mother and yourself. Go, and understand that, oh my god, both the woman and that ascetic man love to travel so much, even though “travel” is not in the dictionary of your parents’ life. Go, and understand that there are values ​​that are priceless, like waking up one morning, seeing dad reading a book by the window with a vast expanse of green pine trees, seeing mom after a long time, a very gentle and soft woman with her children and grandchildren and the only man in her life. Just that alone warms the heart, but makes the eyes sting.

I was also moved, especially when I heard from a friend recently that your father was battling cancer. Forgiveness and love may not prolong life, but they certainly add value to life.

2. Another friend of mine often shares on Facebook the moments when his family takes pictures together. In the city’s central park, on the lake near his house when the golden sunset gently falls on the Goong lake water… The three of them, sitting in a wheelchair. His wife, gentle daughter, strong son beside him. I see all their faces exude a peaceful look that softens my heart.

My father was an archaeologist. He had countless steps up the mountain and down the sea, going everywhere. The most memorable one was one Tet, when we were still very young, sitting at our friend's house wrapping banh chung, when we saw my father walk into the house. Tall, with a big smile, a dusty backpack on his shoulder, and several kilos of fresh meat in his hand. He spoke as if joking when he said he had walked for nearly 2 days and nights, about 100 kilometers from the mountains to Vinh because it was difficult to catch a bus during Tet and because he wanted to save some money to buy meat for his children to eat during Tet. During the poor Tet, the father walked and held a kilo of meat in his hand like a sweet song in our childhood. That father with legs that seemed to never get tired, finally had to stop and rest. My little friend from the past, like me, was a mother, enough to understand how boundless a parent's love is. You said, your summers were sweet before with interesting trips to the forest, to the beach, to places where your father worked, and being carried on his back when tired. Your summers are now even sweeter when you are with your mother and younger brother by your father's side, being his "legs" whenever he gets tired of sitting in the wheelchair. Just watching the sunset on the lake near your house, or walking in the park, is as full of joy and happiness as any interesting trip.

Hey, have you ever traveled with your dad? – The girl I mentioned at the beginning of the article asked her Facebook friends like that. And she said, let’s go, while dad’s legs are still tired, let’s have a delicious meal together while dad’s teeth are still there…