Love story of an American 'son-in-law' in Nghe An

Where love begins

PV: I understand that you have been together for 7 years and have lived together for 3 years. What were your impressions of each other when you first met?

Dang Minh Thuy: When I met Sean in 2013, I was still a student and working part-time at an electronics supermarket in Vinh. At that time, Sean had just been in Vietnam for a few months. The first time we met, although I didn't speak English well, we both seemed to have feelings for each other and I was the one who took the initiative to ask for his phone number. Asking for his phone number was completely random because at that time I was in charge of an English club at the university and wanted to get to know more people to have more opportunities to communicate in English.

Surprisingly, it took him a day to send a message to get to know me and I wondered why it took so long. But Sean himself said that it was just American culture and love started through daily conversations, outings to introduce him to the sights of Vinh city and joining the English club together. Sean also said that actually it didn't matter who asked for whose phone number. Because the first time he met me, he was impressed by my smile. And he wanted to get to know me so he could have another friend, another relationship.

PV: You have been married for 3 years and have a lovely son, but up to now, Thuy still uses her profile picture as her wedding day and a very happy smile. Many people still say that a wedding is not a destination but the beginning of a new journey. Can you both share with us about your journey?.

Dang Minh Thuy: Right from the moment we decided to be together, I felt the strength because we had been in love for 4 years, including 1 year when he returned to the US. When we first fell in love, my parents were also very "shocked" because they did not understand why their daughter loved a foreigner, but during the 1 year he returned to the US, despite the time difference, he called me 3-4 times a day and they believed that this was a sincere person. I myself also felt his love for me, we shared everything with each other. I always felt respected with him and he always praised me, even though there were things he knew I could not do.

Sean William Laurence: When I came to Vietnam at the invitation of a friend, my first purpose was to experience and for no other reason (even though I was no longer young at that time). Personally, I believe that love should be natural and love must come from the heart, that is when two people love each other and want to bond for life, regardless of skin color, language or ethnicity.

PV: I can feel the love between you two through the stories you share every day. But the love between two people from two different cultures must have many difficulties?

Sean William Laurence:Up to this point, I have learned, am learning and will continue to learn to reconcile the two cultures. Indeed, to “fit” 100% is not easy because there are many differences from traffic culture, culture of how people handle situations, solve problems, work in groups. Or the way of teaching students is also different.

However, besides that, I also love Vietnamese culture, which is the warm feelings, the closeness, the sharing of relatives in a family. Vietnamese people do not like independence but they like to be close to many people, have a sense of community. Even children love to play with many friends. In the 7 years I have been in Vinh, I have seen this city change a lot and Vietnamese people are really persistent, hard-working and always try to develop.

Dang Minh Thuy:When we started dating, Sean told me that before Sean came to Vietnam, his friend said “Vietnamese women are like Lions”. Although it was a joke, there are indeed differences because Vietnamese women are hot-tempered, live by instinct, and have difficulty controlling their emotions. Meanwhile, Western women are very polite and gentle, and that also forced me to change every day.

“Know how to understand and share”

PV: In Nghe An, how did you two help each other in your work?

Dang Minh Thuy: Sean came to Vietnam under very special circumstances (his father had just passed away from cancer) and he simply wanted to change his environment. Sean himself had previously studied information technology, but when he got involved in teaching, he really loved this job because he believed that education was very important and could change many people.

We founded the English club for that reason. It was my idea when I was in college, but with Sean, the club has become more effective. It is an open space where everyone can study and exchange together. We are also very happy because before coming to the club, many people could not speak English fluently. But after creating a community to learn English together, many people have been confident enough to study abroad or have a better job and income.

PV: At this time, English is a subject that many parents are interested in and most of them invest in this subject for their children. According to Sean, how should we learn English well?

Sean William Laurence: It seems that I see that there are still gaps between parents and children and many children are still shy and afraid of their parents. Many people often impose and expect too much from their children but do not care and rely too much on teachers. In fact, teachers are not "gods and fairies" but only guides. Learning must be a triangle in which parents, teachers and students work together and the ultimate goal must be for students to progress. Caring for children means playing with them, studying with them and accompanying them, not just reminding them. Do not ask your children if they have finished their homework, but ask them what they learned today and discuss their homework with them. Parents should be safe friends so that children can trust and share.

The same goes for learning English today. There may be a lot of information online, but very few parents actually research it. Many parents send their children to school, but they follow the trend with a lot of "duplicate" information, but they lack perseverance. Many people, after a few months of letting their children study and not seeing any progress, have expressed their concern. Learning English is not a matter of one or two days, but can be a long-term process and sometimes a lifelong one. As a teacher, I want students to ask many questions and study the subjects they love. In addition, they should not study too much, but should spend time playing, improving life skills and experiencing more in the world around them.

PV: As both life partners and colleagues, it is easy to understand why the two of you have such a connection. If right now, there is someone who is still hesitant about loving a foreigner, what advice would you both give?

Dang Minh Thuy: Many people have asked me this question and many people also feel hesitant and afraid when starting a love with someone from another country. But when the love is big enough and has a long enough time, then believe in your love. And for women, maybe don't listen to what he says but look at what he does.

Sean William Laurence: It is understandable that many people are skeptical, but those involved will understand how love is built. If love is built on a solid foundation, with sharing and caring, then no matter how stormy it is, it will eventually overcome it.

PV: Thank you and I wish you both success and happiness in your love!