'Nurturing' love from the pain of Agent Orange

When love begins

Talking about the couple Mr. Le Hong Thai (born in 1968) and Mrs. Hoang Thi Tam (born in 1972), the people of Hamlet 4, Nghi Trung Commune (Nghi Loc) did not hesitate to praise the wife. Because Mrs. Tam is known as a wife with a tolerant and generous heart, loves her husband and children, and is diligent, patient and hard-working. Mrs. Tam shared: "Everything comes from love, then love, living together becomes affection, duty and responsibility".

These past few days, Mr. Thai has been seriously ill and lying in bed, but when guests come to visit, he still tries to sit up, then stands up and gropes step by step, his hands groping along the wall of the house to find his way. Seeing this, Mrs. Tam, who was sorting some scraps in the yard, immediately runs straight into the house, gently and kindly helping her husband step by step. She sits him down on a chair, pours him some water and hands it to him...

Ms. Hoang Thi Tam said that her hometown is Nghi Thinh commune, born into a family of 6 children, her mother died early, her father struggled with the burden of making a living to raise her children. Pitying her father, the sisters stopped studying early to work to help him earn a living. When they reached the age of marriage, someone introduced them to a boy from a neighboring commune, that boy was disabled, fatherless, and the family situation was extremely difficult.

When they first met, seeing her future husband with crippled limbs and deformed facial features, Mrs. Tam did not feel any fear. On the contrary, her heart suddenly filled with sympathy, wanting to share with that man the difficulties, hardships and pain of his disability.

Not long after, she agreed to marry him, much to the surprise of her family, relatives and neighbors. Because at that time she was a girl of average beauty, healthy and whole, it was not difficult for her to find a suitable husband. But she agreed to marry a disabled man, who would have to take care of her for the rest of her life.

Some supported, some opposed; some encouraged, some discouraged, but Mrs. Tam decided to marry Mr. Thai, even though she knew that the life ahead would be extremely difficult and arduous, and she might even face pain if her children carried the father's genes.

Their wedding was held in mid-1990, with a large crowd attending, the wedding hall was packed. Seeing the bride walking beside the groom with a limp, everyone was happy for Mr. Thai to have the good fortune to marry a healthy wife. And everyone blessed and prayed for the newlyweds to have a peaceful and happy life.

When she became a wife and daughter-in-law, Mrs. Tam was told more about her family's circumstances by her mother-in-law. The family had 3 siblings (1 girl, 2 boys), Mr. Thai was the youngest, and his mother got pregnant when his father (journalist, martyr Le Van Luyen) returned home from the battlefield on leave. Her husband returned to the battlefield, leaving Mrs. Thuy to take care of the children and give birth alone.

Some time later, she was deeply saddened to learn that her husband had died on the battlefield. Her youngest son, Le Hong Thai, was born unhealthy, with weak and contracted limbs and an abnormally developed brain. In particular, his eyes, nose and mouth were all deformed, very different from other children his age.

Not being able to bear seeing her child suffer from the pain of disability, even though she was very poor, Mrs. Thuy still tried to take her youngest son to many places for treatment. But each trip back was a disappointment, because the doctors were "helpless". Later, she learned that her youngest son was likely infected with Agent Orange from his father, so he had to suffer from quite serious consequences.

Le Hong Thai took his first steps at the age of 12, and only started going to school at the age of 16. After finishing high school, he stayed home to help his mother with the work, mainly cutting grass and herding cows. Then, thanks to a matchmaker, he met and married a girl named Hoang Thi Tam, starting a new life that promised hope but also many hardships...

Happiness in the midst of chaos

After a while of marriage, Mrs. Tam and her husband moved out to live in a small garden, a temporary house built with thatch, bamboo, and leaves. Recently, the couple received financial support from their brothers and relatives on the father's side to build a spacious, sturdy house, no longer worried about the storms.

Two years after the wedding, Mrs. Tam gave birth to her first son. During the entire pregnancy, the woman was constantly worried, and as the day of birth approached, her worries increased. She was afraid that the child would be born with the father's genes, with physical deformities and mental abnormalities. But fortunately, baby boy Le The Binh was born quite healthy and strong, with no signs of abnormalities.

Mr. Thai hugged the mother and child, the disabled man cried, tears streaming down his face, making all the witnesses tear up and feel stinging in their eyes. It was not until 7 years later, in 1999, that Mrs. Tam became pregnant again, the anxiety was no less than the previous time.

And luck came again, the second boy was born as healthy and strong as his older brother, and his parents named him Le Anh Duong. Another joy, another happiness, but also another worry, and the burden of making a living weighed even more heavily on the mother's thin shoulders.

To make ends meet, Mrs. Tam struggled with more than 4 sao of contracted rice fields and raised cows and pigs. Then, when it was time to plant, harvest, and weed, she went to work for hire to earn more income, rarely having time off all year round. Mr. Thai could not bear to leave his wife to do everything alone, so he also went to work for hire. He did whatever he was hired to do, and most of the neighbors sympathized with the family's situation and created conditions for him to have more income, to help Mrs. Tam reduce some of the burden of making a living.

But for many years now, Mr. Thai's eyes have not been able to perceive light, he can only move around the house, the responsibility of making money falls on his wife's shoulders. His mental illness has also become more and more severe, on windy and changing days he often screams in pain, then mumbles all day. Every month, she has to take him to the hospital to get medicine, to ease his physical pain.

Currently, the eldest son Le The Binh is serving in the army, and the second son Le Anh Duong has just gone to work abroad. Mrs. Tam and her husband still have a large debt from saving money to build a house and take care of the youngest son's job. Meanwhile, the only way to spend daily expenses is to look at her business, collecting scrap metal.

“Deciding to marry him, for nearly 34 years now I have not had a single moment of regret. Now the children are grown up, my husband and I are both satisfied. I only wish that the children will have a peaceful, happy family, and a less difficult future life…”

- Mrs. Hoang Thi Tam -