Both "Kinh" and "Y"

December 4, 2015 09:32

(Baonghean)- The monk ate blood pudding, drank dog meat, drank alcohol, cursed, smoked tobacco, sang karaoke and apparently people saw him living in the same "campus" as the nun.

- What are you doing, Mr. Dung?

- I'm writing… poetry!

- Uncle, don't be rash! Poetry is the wind, the moon, the flying storks, what is poetry? It's the world that cannot tolerate worldly people like you and me. Okay, uncle, please cover up your poetry and go back to real life to summarize "this week's news" with everyone, okay?

- You still haven't stepped foot into the twenty-first century? Be a little backward, Uncle Dang. Citizens are allowed to do everything that the law does not prohibit, you hear? Besides, with the responsibility of a village chief like me, if I also hold the position of poet, wouldn't that reduce the position of the commune's literary association by one position?

Quyết định
Decision to allow Hanoi University of Business and Technology to train in General Medicine and Pharmacy at university level

You should take the time to look up and see that the Hanoi University of Business and Technology is actively developing a doctor training program. Who knows, maybe in the future the University of Medicine will be bustling to produce a train driver who is also a musician! There is a newspaper running a multi-part report reflecting on the abbot of a pagoda with a “national relic certificate as big as a tray” (the abbot’s words) in that province. The monk eats blood pudding, drinks dog meat, drinks alcohol, swears, smokes tobacco, sings karaoke and apparently people saw him living in the same “campus” with a nun. Don’t be so stingy! This era is the era of “integration”, where animal husbandry and poetry intersect.

- “When did that happen?” Uncle Dung is planning to “plant banana trees” for language! If you combine animal husbandry with poetry, I’m afraid the poetry clubs in our neighborhood will become “super lean”.

- You misunderstood! What I meant by “poetry” is “toll collection”! Raising animals with poetry means raising animals with toll collection! Do you know how many fees a chicken has to bear?

- No!

- Fourteen types of fees in total! Try to remember, it's equal to the number of times the Song Da pipeline "broke its water".

- So is the information that a certain University of Business and Technology conveniently brought in a curriculum that "jumped over the fence of regulations" to train doctors to contribute to the socialization of the medical career true or is it "a typo on your part", village chief?

- What kind of error is that? The "licensing" decision effective from November 19, 2015, written by Deputy Minister Bui Van Ga on white paper, black ink, blue signature and red seal, still visible: "Allowing Hanoi University of Business and Technology to train university level, regular system in General Medicine, code: 52720101; Pharmacy, code: 52720401". And let me add that even if a poor household has a 3-storey house like yours, don't even dream of letting their child put a fishing buoy on this "first medicine, second pharmacy" brand chair. Listen carefully, the tuition fee is 50 million VND per year, including the time... summer break!

- What? 50 million? Isn't that a cutthroat medical training?

- I heard the vice principal just explain to the press that the investment capital for this field cannot be "affordable" like other fields. He also integrated medical ethics education so skillfully that he said: "Hiring a corpse for practice is not cheap, it is not like a bunch of vegetables or fish...". To tell you the truth, hearing him say such a "complete" statement, I feel less sorry for the students and more heartache for the corpses. They, those corpses of course cannot be like a bunch of vegetables or fish, and they are also different from that respectable vice principal. They are dead but still have to lie on the operating table, for whom and for what? Why can "people" associate them with a bunch of vegetables or fish?

Trường ĐH Kinh doanh và Công nghệ Hà nội
Hanoi University of Business and Technology.

- Don't get emotional! This is not the time for emotion… huh. They must have seen that murders have been happening like clockwork for a long time now, and there hasn't been any promotion for renting human corpses, so they're… impatient.

- Okay, let's drop this topic. Now I ask you, if you could choose a gender, would you be a man or a woman?

- There is no need to use the word “if” anymore, great village chief! On the morning of November 21, the National Assembly just passed the law allowing individuals to re-identify their gender with an approval rate of 86.84%.

- So do people "press the button" for the "third gender"?

- Are you talking about people with “hermaphroditism”? Oh yeah, I haven’t read this yet. But I think, if it doesn’t exist yet, it will eventually! Anything that already exists in society will be regulated by law. For example, the story of the University of Business and Technology but it trains in medicine and pharmacy. No one “licensed” it, so why would anyone worry about buying a corpse that doesn’t “get a good price” like a fish or a bunch of vegetables! In short, it’s both “disgusting” and “healthy”, right? Oh, and since we’re talking about the “third gender”, I’d like to remind you that it’s not a “hermaphroditism” university!

Dung & Dang

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